Monday, March 20, 2017

Enjoy the wins, endure the losses and always love to compete.

     A few years back I started telling all of my players that there are three things they need to be aware of at all times while playing.  I introduce the concept by asking "what are the three things that you need to know where-it-is all the time while you're playing?"
     Players usually get the first one easily.  It's the ball.  The second is the goals.  That's your basic orientation for the play of the game so you've got to know all the time where the goals are and which end is which.
     The third "where-it-is-all-the-time" is the players...your team and the opponent.  So, as players we have to keep these three things in the front of our mind at all times.
   
     I have to know where the ball is, where the goals are and where all my teammates and my opponents are...all the time.  And my coach is yelling to me to remind me of that...and to remind me of what position I'm playing...and to remind me of what's behind me...and to demand that I use a particular skill.  And then it's cold...and snowing a bit...and windy.  Or it's hot and this one girl on the other team keeps grabbing my shirt from behind...and then there's my mom or my dad...what are they saying?  Are they mad?  Now, what was I supposed to be remembering all the time again?  

     It's a lot to ask of a ten year old to remain focused enough to be aware of all three of the where-it-is-all-the-time things simultaneously and the ultimate goal is to get them to have that focused awareness as their default position, as simply the way they approach the game naturally, reflexively.  It takes a lot of time, a lot of patient development to get players from their precocious "me and the ball" phase to a more subtle team oriented understanding of how to play.  Keeping in mind of course that as players develop more of a team mentality for the game they aren't shedding that early "me and the ball" selfishness but rather finding a way to incorporate that into the team effort.
     As with the players and their where-it-is-all-the-time attitude, the coach also has to have a sort of default position for approaching the game.  It's patience.  The arc of player development is long and there are no shortcuts.  Every minute of training and game time my players get is part of that development and it's all valuable, even the failures and at the most basic level a coach's job is to let the players have those experiences and then to let them "percolate" on them, as it were.
     So this past weekend one of my teams came away with a lot to percolate on.  Their opening game for the KSSL season was a tough one played in raw conditions.  Despite the score it was a good game for them and I was generally happy with the level of skillfulness and the overall commitment to energetic play.  Then in the evening they played their final indoor game of the season and, again, took a tough loss.   But again, they played with good energy the whole game, constantly pressing to come back.  And there was plenty of great skill on display.  The team had, throughout both games, what I'd call a "gamer's" attitude, meaning they played like they were there for the love of the competition, regardless of the outcome.  As a coach I can't ask for more.  If I watch them compete with real commitment and even some joy but they finish with a loss I cannot go into the post-match chat with them with anything but a positive attitude.  The moment the final whistle blows in a situation like that I have to immediately let go of any disappointment I might feel at the loss and begin thinking about how to talk to the team positively about how they played and how we can build on it.
     My comments to the team after that evening game ended with me telling them that I was glad to be their coach, that I love watching them play and I love training with them.  I told them that being a select player means you've made a commitment to the game, to your teammates and to your own longterm development.  "That development is a long arc" I said.  "And if you're committed to following it I'm committed to guiding you.  I'll be with you all the way."


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